Dave married

*   Dave married

  Dave married, and when his new wife saw the clothes in his cupboard, she said, "Dave, you have only got one good shirt. The other are very old, and they've got holes in them. I'm going to buy you a new one this afternoon".
  Dave liked his shirts, but he loved his wife too, so he said, "All right, Beryl, but please don't throw any of the old ones away".
  Dave went to work, and when he came back in the evening, Beryl said to him, "Look, Dave, I've bought you a nice shirt. Here it is. Put it on".
  Dave put the shirt on, and then he said, "Look at the sleeves, Beryl. They're too long".
  "That's all right," Beryl answered. "They'll get shorter when I wash the shirt".
  Then Dave said, "But the neck's too small".
  "That's all right," Beryl answered. "It'll get bigger when you wear the shirt, Dave".


 *   Better than a chicken

  Jack was a young sailor. He lived in England, but he was often away with his ship.
  One summer he came back from a long voyage and found new neighbours near his mother's house. They had a pretty daughter, and Jack soon loved her very much.
  He said to her, "My next voyage will begin in a few day's time, Gloria. I love you, and I'll marry you when I come back. I'll think about you all the time, and I'll write to you and send you a present from every port".
  Jack's first port was Freetown in Africa, and he sent Gloria a parrot from there. It spoke five languages.
  When Jack's ship reached Australia, there was a letter from Gloria. It said: "Thank you for the parrot, Jack. It tasted much better than a chicken".

 *   Fanny and Ethel.

  Fanny and Ethel worked in the same office, and they were neighbours at home. Fanny was rather a careless girl, and she often lost things. Then she usually went to Ethel to borrow more from her.
  Ethel was a kind girl, but she sometimes got tired of lending things to her friend.
  One Saturday afternoon Fanny knocked at Ethel's front door, and when Ethel came to open it, Fanny said to her, "Oh, hello, Ethel. Please lend me a bag. I've lost my mine. I'm going to the shops, and I fell very stupid when I haven't got anything in my hand when I go to the street".
  Ethel laughed and answered: "Well, Fanny, go down to the end of the garden. You'll find a nice wheelbarrow in the shed there. Take when you go down to the shops. Then you'll have something in both of your hands".